As I stare at my children I’m in awe that God granted me the massive responsibility to raise thoughtful, kind leaders in this world. While we concentrate on raising our children and doing it well …other dreams and aspirations sometimes are parked in the back lot of our life and only to come out again as our children grow older.
For me being out of the workforce since 2017 and with older, more independent children I am at a place in my life where I feel ready to again flex muscles in my brain that haven’t been flexed in quite some time. However as Proverbs 16:33 so aptly reminds us, we may throw the dice, but God is the one who places them down.
At the beginning of 2023 I decided it was time to dive in to my big dream of writing and sharing my story. I dove in…my beautiful brother built my blog, gave me incredible advice and guidance. I was raring to go, with years worth of journals ready to share with my very own online community. At the very point I was gaining momentum, self-confidence and creative thought…my 11 year old son broke his leg. It was as if I had been catapulted back to when I had a 4 year old; his full leg cast (think to the groin) completely robbed him of all mobility and independence. I quite literally went from having a fiercely independent young man – to a child I had to bathe and take to the bathroom – even getting him to class was a massive undertaking. My 11 year old dropped his switch? Guess who had to pick it up? Book placed too far away on the coffee table? I had to stop what I was doing and grab it. What was required of me now was my first job, to be a self-less, nurturing mother as he healed. What had to wait? My dream, my blog and my progress.
God. Doesn’t. Make. Mistakes. Sometimes things (and really not fun things) happen and take us away from what we feel he’s called us to in the first place. I now see my son’s leg as less of a “distraction”, and rather more of a “detour.” You see God wants a relationship with us and reveals himself to us, trains us, and draws near to us when we are on these detours.
I now realize my son has learnt immense patience and resilience – gifts that no book or verbal lesson could ever teach or train. His appreciation for the absolute simplest things in life (standing in a lake and splashing, swimming again and taking strong fresh new steps now and again) have multiplied. Heck he is thrilled about being able to go onto a swing with his freshly healed leg – and pump his legs – something he certainly wouldn’t have noticed if the break hadn’t happened.
Was the delay and distraction to my dream, my to do list and my goals worth it? Yes, because I now see how this whole experience has matured and developed me too.
Fun fact. A week before he broke his leg I was meditating and praying for his character to develop and for resilience…
So trust God’s plan, no matter how opposite it feels to your plans. He may very well have something even better for you, hidden within all the mess you didn’t even know you needed.